September 04, 2008

Lock Them In A Closet

Last week I dropped my daughter (The Only Person I Really Like) at college.

I highly recommend postponing this activity as long as possible. When you show up on campus, every kid but yours looks like one of the following:
  • a drug addict
  • a date rapist
  • a serial killer
  • a tattooed maniac
  • a home-schooled, God-bothering zomboid
  • a pierced and punctured Starbuckista
  • an incipient booze hound
  • a laundry-wearing crypto-terrorist
  • a sex fiend
  • a torturer of small mammals
  • a very bad influence
The male faculty all look like Humbert Humbert.

The female faculty are all NPR-addled cigarette jockeys.

The dorms look like minimum security whore houses.

The showers seem shrouded in male pubic hair.

The dorm supervisors are compulsive masturbators.

Don't laugh. This is serious.

Hot Tip For The DEA:
There is a direct relationship between frisbee playing and pot smoking. Get on it!

And Now For Something Completely Different:
For those of you who, like me, have a deep and abiding skepticism about consumer "research", I highly recommend this.

And Now For Something Else Completely Differenter:
After watching Hot Mom With Rifle last night, TAC believes Obama made a huge mistake not selecting Hillary as his running mate and it may cost him the presidency. TAC predicts the most interesting election in decades. (Reminder -- two things TAC is always wrong about: politics and driving directions.)

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