Marketing Genius Analyzes The Election

Now that all the presidential and vice presidential candidates are known, it's time to analyze the race.

As a certified marketing genius (hey, I have a blog, don't I?) The Ad Contrarian knows that the candidate whose "brand" best "resonates" with "mainstream consumers" is the one who is most likely to attract great numbers of voters and help his/her ticket.

So let's have a look at the four candidates and see how each one will help or hurt the ticket by examining the type of voter each one is most likely to attract:

Here's my analysis:

McCain: The Old Farts With 7 Houses vote is not reliable. They often have trouble finding the polling place. When they do find it, they mostly pull the lever in the mens' room and think they've voted (see Florida, 2004.)

Obama: I went to the Guys Whose Middle Name Is Hussein Facebook page. Not a lot of votes here. Plus they'll probably be pulled aside for secondary screening by TSA agents when they try to enter the voting booth.

Palin: From what I can tell, there just aren't enough Hot Moms With Rifles to make a difference. But please feel free to prove me wrong by sending snapshots.

Biden: Bald Guys In Denial? Billions of 'em. You can't swing a Conair 1450 without hitting a few. They've got sweep-overs, comb-arounds, spray-mounts, alarming toupees, low and high-density plug-jobs, nasty gray pony-tails, and half-empty mullets.

Consequently, TAC predicts that the key to this election is Joe Biden's unnerving hair-do. It will put the Democratic ticket over the top.

Still Hope For Republicans:
Two things TAC is always wrong about: politics and driving directions.