December 31, 2015

Final Marketing Lesson Of The Year

This one's for the oh-so-fashionable nitwits who are fond of proclaiming that "marketing is dead."

I did some math this morning. At today's prices, an ounce of bottled water is about 25 times as expensive as an ounce of crude oil.

Happy New Year!

December 17, 2015

Thanks, Kudos, and Apologies

Today's post is probably my final post of 2015. I'm going to take a few days off and get properly hydrated for the holidays.

This has been the best year of my so-called advertising career and I want to take the time to thank some of the people who made it great.

First, I want to thank the nice folks who hired me to shoot my mouth off at conferences, sales meetings, or advertising events. This includes, but is not limited to: UBA Brussels; Western Assoc. of Broadcasters; WPP/Coca-Cola; WideOrbit; Virginia Assoc. of Broadcasters; Broadcast Assoc. of Manitoba; HawaiiLife; Video Ad News; Time, Inc., Fuel Lines; Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, Toronto; Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, Montreal; The Escape Pod; Boise Ad Fed; Cox Media Group; Newsworks UK, Noll and Associates; Partners and Napier, Outdoor Advertising Association of America.

Next I want to thank everyone who bought one of my books and especially the few who actually read them. Big thanks to those who lied and wrote nice reviews.

I want also to make a few apologies. First to the nice people who sent emails or questions and didn't get a response. If I tried to answer every inquiry I get I would literally have no time to polish my Nobel prizes.

I want to apologize to everyone I called a moron, dimwit, or idiot. That was not me talking, it was The Ad Contrarian. Sometimes he can be a real asshole. On the other hand, you might want to take another look at the crap you're producing. Just sayin'...

There are some people who wrote very nice things about this blog this year. I'm not going to name them because I already paid good money for their compliments. There are also some people who wrote nasty things. I just want you to know I have  a list.

Despite the hole we've dug for ourselves, the advertising & marketing business is full of terrific people. I want to acknowledge some of the tortured souls of the business who I made contact with this year, or re-connected with, or stayed in contact with or who influenced my thinking and writing or just made me happy to know them. In as close as I can get to alphabetical order without working too hard, here we go: John Anderson, Lisa Batty, Susan Bandura, Matt Beall, David Burn, Doug Burdett, Claudia Caplan, Cam Clark, Angie Coiro, Paul Curran, Rich Cerussi, Kirk Citron, John Crawford, Iggy Diez, Andy Dolich, Matt Dowshen, Mark Denton, Adam Elk, Mark Earls, Jason Falls, Ted Florio, Paul Feldwick, Vincent Flood, Erica Farber, Jerry Gibbons, Rachel Goldstein, Ted Griggs, Bob Greenberg, Michael Gass, Dan Goldgeier, Leslie Gordon, Steve Harrison, Jason Headley, Brian Jacobs, Marcie Judelson, Ben Kay, Sharon Krinsky, Keynote Speakers, Inc, Cary Lemkowitz, Peter Levitan, Anne Lewis, Roger Lewis, Harold Mann, Eric Mathewson, Don Marti, Bonnie Miguel, Hugh MacLoed, Joe Norris, Andrew O'Dell, DJ O'Neill, Jami Oetting, George Parker, Alda Parker, Tom Pelack, Vic Polkinhome, Andy Palmer, Sam Pond, Katty Roberfroid, Mark Ritson, Mike Sainsbury, Joel Simon, Patrick Scullin, Rich Siegel, John Sneider, Jim Stokes, Byron Sharp, Doc Searls, George Tannenbaum, Jay Tannenbaum, Dave Trott, Thinkbox, Chris Van Roey, Vinny Warren, Kennen Williams, and a whole lot of other people who I will kick myself tomorrow for not mentioning.

Most important, I want to thank everyone who reads this thing. It's fun to write. I hope it's fun to read.
My final thought for 2015: How come social media is so shitty at selling stuff but so effective at recruiting homicidal maniacs? 

On that pleasant note, have a great Christmas and a wonderful New Year.