January 07, 2015

10 Important Things To Ignore In 2015

Continuing our look ahead to the upcoming year in advertising and marketing, we believe 2015 promises to be another memorable year in the Golden Age Of Bullshit.

All the bullshit artists marketing experts are busily at work knocking out their cliche-ridden articles and Powerpoint monstrosities which they will be forcing down your throat over the next few weeks.

As an antidote to all this baloney, here are ten things you would be wise to ignore this year. I have been ignoring these things for decades and it has served me well.

1. Any and all predictions about the new year
No one knows what's going to happen 10 minutes from now. 

2.  All stories about "The Death Of Something" 
Every dimwit desperately trying to be published writes one of these abominations. They are the default "think pieces" for writers who can't think.

3. All forecasts by economists
Three words: Monkeys throwing darts.

4. Press releases about client/agency relations
The world's most transparently disingenuous and consistently deceitful form of bullshit.

5. Articles about "millennials", "brand storytelling", "disruption", or "authentic conversations."
If I have to read one more inane article about any of this crap I will personally send the author's IP address to Kim Jong-un.

6. Any presentation about "Something That Will Change Everything"
Nothing changes everything.

7. All utterances of tech CEOs
There's so much not to like about these creeps. Maybe if we stop listening they'll stop talking.

8. Books, speeches or articles about your "personal brand"
You don't need a personal brand. You need a personality.

9. Any word, phrase, or sentence spoken by a participant in a focus group
The source of more bad ideas than any other activity in the history of civilization.

10. Anything written by a blogger 

I hope these suggestions help you have a wonderful year, and remember -- in this year as in every year, there's only one ad bozo who really loves you.


davis said...

"You don't need a personal brand. You need a personality." GOLD!

Cecil B. DeMille said...

Nothing on the death of good advertising? Agency leverage? Clients smart enough to understand the value of ideas? Undiluted work? All of these things have been on life support for years. I don't expect them to hold out much longer.

Emily Ratajkowski said...

Post is good, I highly appreciate those people who share some good information, because I like those people who actually share :).

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Robin S said...


Eriks said...

It is what it is...

Ike Pigott said...

You left out 11:

Any list that breaks its format for the sake of seeming hip, trendy, cool or spontaneous.

Matt L. said...

Undiluted work -- never heard that one. Said the perpetually forward leaning ad exec to the potential client, "Our creative juices are just too strong for normal people. That's why every employee starts every day with a highball and a tablespoon of crushed Adderall."

Maree Hall said...

Love the irony, the next post coming up in my Feedly feed was "Brand You".
Agree completely with all of the above. Gold.

Luis Garcia de la Fuente said...

...loved this post ; you are getting better year by year mister congrats. :-)

Jim said...

Do you remember when the price of oil was going to get out of control?

CaliforniaGirl500 said...

i'm still puzzling over the phrase "paradigm change" from 20+ years ago.