October 27, 2008

Top 10 Bullshit Professions

I was thinking that maybe advertising was the world's number one bullshit profession.

After semi-painstaking analysis and consideration, however, I am happy to report that advertising is way down at number eight.

To develop this list I did two things. First I eliminated all occupations that are obviously scams -- like palm reader, astrologer, and economist.

Second, I used only one criterion in creating the list:

Do they really know anything or are they just making shit up?

Okay, drum roll -- The Ad Contrarian Top 10 Bullshit Professions:
1. Career Counselors: If they knew anything they'd find themselves better jobs.

2. Clergymen: God-bothering bullies masquerading as holy men.

3. Psychotherapists: Practitioners of the world's most advanced form of pseudoscience.

4. Politicians: Insufferable egotists pretending to be "public servants."

5. Branding Consultants: Why didn't I think of this scam?

6. Art Critics: Thankfully, no one pays attention except rich twits.

7. Actors: We tell them where to stand. We tell them what to say. They win awards.

8. Ad Executives: You can build a career by memorizing 10 cliches.

9. Financial Advisors: Monkeys throwing darts.

10. Third Base Umpires: One call a game if you're lucky.


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