Working On A Marriage

So Tiger Woods has given up golf for a while to work on his marriage.

I've always wondered how you work on a marriage.

Do you take it out to the garage and change the spark plugs? Do you bring it down to the basement and sand it? What the hell do you do?

It's been my experience that there are some things that can't be improved by trying to improve them. They can only be improved indirectly.

Like being happy. You can't be happy by trying to be happy. You can only be happy by playing your guitar too loud or drinking too much beer and going bowling. That'll make you happy. But try really hard to be happy and you're sure to end up miserable.

Same with marriage. You don't wind up with a good marriage by "working" on it. You do it by not working on it. By being naturally comfortable together and not bugging the shit out of each other.

Let's look in on a typical morning in the Woods household as they work on their marriage.

TIGER IS SLEEPING. ELIN COMES STORMING INTO THE BEDROOM AND SMACKS HIM ACROSS THE HEAD WITH A COPY OF US.

Elin: Hey asshole, look, another waitress says you're a good lay.

Tiger: Um...honey...I thought we agreed that we had to get beyond the...

Elin:  Go fuck yourself.

As we can see, the first 30 seconds of working on the marriage probably don't go so well. Then you have like -- I don't know -- either 40 more years of it or 40 more days.

Either way, if Tiger thought working on his putting was tough, he ain't seen nothin'.


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