November 24, 2009

10 Great, Smelly Candidates

Thanks to everyone who has nominated something for The Bully Awards. We've received lots of glorious, wonderful examples of marketing bullshit (and, honestly, what more could one ask for during the holiday season?)

I've selected 10 good-looking candidates (along with links, where appropriate.) If you'd like, you can vote for your favorite below. But remember, nominations are open until December 1, so keep these smelly things rolling in.

1. Synergy-Related Headcount-Adjustment












2. "It’s About Understanding Conversations." Ohhhh.



3. Build A Brand in 30 Days











4. When Planners Write Ads




5. Arnell's "Breathtaking" Pepsi Logo Document
                                                                                                                                                
6. Windows 7 Launch Party


7. 100 Ways To Measure Social Media









8. Hal Riney Is Spinning

  9. "The Conversation Economy"...












10. “We Started On A Journey...
















Have a peaceful, thankful holiday.

How Could They Not Be?

From the post above, item #1 about "Synergy-Related Headcount-Adjustment," we find that the name of the CEO of Nokia Siemens Networks is Simon Beresford-Wylie and the head of human resources is Bosco Novak.

Simon Beresford-Wylie and Bosco Novak.

How could they not be full of shit?

November 23, 2009

The Social Media Cesspool

It was such a lovely dream.

A transparent medium in which marketers and consumers were on an equal footing. Where consumer decisions would be driven not just by the propaganda that marketers paid the media to broadcast, but by the forthright opinions and experiences of other consumers.

And like most Utopians dreams, it is quickly becoming a nightmare.

Social media marketing is an incipient cesspool.

In traditional advertising, at least our motives are clear. We're out to sell you something, and you know it.

Social media marketing is different. To a growing extent, it's sneaky, deceitful and covert.

It seems like every company in America has a team of squids working furiously to pollute and manipulate the social media environment with crypto-marketing. These slimy creatures are busy...

  • leaving fraudulent reviews and comments
  • "monitoring" conversations and trying to insert their hidden agendas in ways we can't detect.
  • spamming us with dishonest Tweets from nonexistent people
Social media is becoming so compromised by manipulation, its marketing value is suspect before it even gains traction.

Last week in 3 Distinctions That Need To Be Drawn we said...
...the more that social media hustlers get their greasy hands all over it, the quicker its already questionable credibility will deteriorate.
Now social media may have hit a new low. On Saturday, The New York Times reported in a story called A Friend's Tweet Could Be An Ad  that ad agencies are now paying people to tweet ads to their friends and followers. The ads, of course, are disguised as tweets.
“We don’t want to create an army of spammers, and we are not trying to turn Facebook and Twitter into one giant spam network,” said (the founder of one of these agencies,) “All we are trying to do is get consumers to become marketers for us.”
Oh.

A distinction without a difference.

Social media marketing is no longer just a vast repository of demented ideas (see Wendy's Realtime.) It is becoming a cesspool.

Dive in at your own risk.

November 20, 2009

Gag Me With A Chopstick

Celebrity culture makes me sick. Businesses, and particularly restaurants, that try to trade on it make me doubly sick.

My family is headed to New York for Thanksgiving. We wanted to have dinner at Tao one night.

I went to their website to make a reservation. Here's what I learned on their home page:

"Tao New York is frequented by celebrities on a regular basis from Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise, Robert DiNiro, Beyonce and Jay-Z to Britney Spears, Madonna, Paris Hilton..."
I guess I'm supposed to go all vaporous because I might be in the presence of some overblown nothings who have contributed-- what exactly?-- to society.

Hey, Tao, never mind. If I want to see clowns, I'll go to the fucking circus.