June 01, 2009

It's A Wonderful World

"Advertising is a failure. When you don't have that good relationship, then you have to advertise..."
Did you know that Coca-Cola is failing? And Apple is failing and McDonald's is failing and Proctor and Gamble is failing?

You didn't know that? Where have you been?

It's obvious. They have to advertise. Advertising is what you have to do when you're failing.

This is because the internet has created a new species of human being. And these new human beings live in a wonderful world in which they have relationships with all the companies that make the products they use.

And the only time companies need to advertise to these people is when that relationship is broken and failing.

You see, these new humans don't buy things for practical reasons -- like, it works better, or it's cheaper, or it looks nicer. It's all about the relationship.

These new humans want a direct relationship with their peanut butter maker and their muffler manufacturer. They want a relationship with the company that makes their socks and their chairs. And their pickles, and their half-and-half, and their mayonnaise, and their cookies, and their tires, and their chewing gum, and their toothbrush, and their umbrella, and their dishwasher, and their napkins, and their toaster, and their gasoline, and their horseradish, and their dental floss, and their paper towels, and their golf balls, and their shoes, and their pillows, and their pencils, and their deodorant, and their books, and their nail clippers, and their furniture polish, and their frozen chicken strips, and their lamps, and their potting soil, and their bathing suits, and their glasses, and their clocks, and their fungicide, and their dishes, and their cat food, and their sun block, and their cookie dough, and their motor oil, and their light bulbs, and their burglar alarm, and their ironing board, and their fire insurance, and their coffee filters, and their pillow cases, and their allergy pills, and their mouthwash, and their vacuum cleaner bags, and their shower curtains...

So you needn't bother telling them that your product works better, or is cheaper, or looks nicer. That's just a sign of failure. It's just a sign that your relationship is failing.

These new humans live in a wonderful world. It's a world in which their minds are free to evaluate the relationships they have with all these companies. They don't have to worry about their jobs, or their children, or how they're going to pay the mortgage.

They don't need to wash their bath tubs, or have mammograms, or go to work, or apply for loans, or bail their kids out of juvenile hall, or fold the laundry, or take their parents to the doctor, or vacuum the carpet, or make dinner.

They have all the time in the world to develop relationships with brands. And then, when they're finished building these relationships, they go on line to social media sites and have conversations about them.

It's a wonderful world.

Someday I'd like to visit it.

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