Talk To A Naked Copywriter, #1

This is the first installment of a new feature here at TAC. Each Friday, a comment or question from our readers will be replied to by a naked copywriter.

Dear Naked,

When did so much science come into making a sale? When I was selling door-to-door newspaper subscriptions as a kid I was given a script to follow. When I followed it, I couldn’t sell a thing. When I went by my gut, I killed.

The same applies to an ad don’t you think? A sale comes from a gut feel — it is not found in some documents that prove what the customer wants to hear. And what we are doing is sales. Salesmanship in print, right?

I’m getting really tired of putting a bunch of stuff in ads that “needs to be there” and think it is time we returned to putting the stuff in an ad that should be there. If the ad simply feels right, then send it and make some sales.

Are we sometimes being so factual in our ads these days that we forget to make a connection?An ad can only do one thing well. These days we seem to be trying to tell much more.

Plop-Plop. Fizz-fizz. Oh what a relief it is. That's it.

The new mac laptop. Slim and light... Perfect for those who need slim and light. Not a bunch a BS about power, battery life, monitor, keyboard, compatibility, warranty, shipping, url, 1(800)... etc. If you need to know that stuff —seek it out. But if your wishing for slim and light, here it is. Simple and at the soul.

Apple feels my pain. I need slim and light. Sale made. Forget the rest. What do you think?

Sincerely,
Art Director Wearing Tight Trousers

Dear Art Director Wearing Tight Trousers,

There are always a million things to say about every brand and every product. The art of advertising is in finding the one important thing and saying it loudly and clearly. Unfortunately Art Directors Wearing Tight Trousers and Naked Copywriters are being lead today by clients monstrously ill-prepared to make these kinds of determinations and we are, consequently, being asked to stick every piece of irrelevant bullshit into every ad, just so they have their fat behinds covered.

And speaking of butts, I am sitting here bare-assed, freezing my nuts off. Can you make the questions a little shorter?

Regards,
Naked Copywriter

By the way:
This problem is not new. Forty-five years ago, Hal Riney and Fred Manley created a wonderful spoof called "Nine Ways To Improve An Ad."

Note To Readers:
The guy in the picture above is not really me. But the resemblance is remarkable.

Note To Copywriters:
If you would like to be a guest Naked Copywriter, please send an email to adcontrarian@gmail.com. Please do not include a picture. I'm depressed enough.