June 22, 2011

Nonsense Never Sleeps

When will these morons ever learn?

I read a post on a website called Business Insider recently entitled "The Brick-And-Mortar Retail Store Is Headed For Extinction." I thought I was in some kind of stupidity time warp.

This is the same nonsense I was reading 15 years ago. It was bullshit then, and it's even stinkier bullshit now.

The article was written by some guy who claims to be "Managing Director at a $2 billion venture capital firm based in NYC." Remind me not to venture any capital with this guy.

Here's a sample of his logic:
"...My partner Larry told me about one innovative retailer that uses their physical store to crowd source and showcase new products only – as soon as something sells in meaningful volume... it is moved to the online store and that shelf space is freed for a new product to experience."
Now there, my friend, is some brilliant fucking marketing! Take all the good selling stuff out of the store and only leave the crap that no one wants.

Hey, Steve, wake up! Take all those iPhones and iPads and iPods out of your stores and make people go online to buy them, you fucking idiot. That way you won't have all that annoying store traffic. Instead, you could be putting in some crap that nobody wants. Maybe Gates has some old Zunes laying around.

Or even better, you can get some slow selling crowdsourced stuff  -- ohmygod, double wicked cool -- crowdsourced!

Then there's this statement..
"Over time, I see stores being “owned” by marketing and viewed it as a brand expense instead of the independent full P&L today."
Apparently there is a language in which that sentence makes sense. But I'm afraid you need 2 billion dollars to understand it.

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