The Enduring Eternal Truth About Advertising

A young man died.

As he stood before St. Peter he was filled with great anxiety.

"Where am I going?" he asked.

"Well, " St. Peter answered, "I've been going over your record and I really can't decide. You're one of those borderline cases."

The young man's anxiety grew.

"Here's what I think I'll do," said St. Peter. "I'll let you visit both places and you can decide where you want to go."

The young man breathed a sigh of relief. St. Peter picked up the phone.

"Angel, would you please come here for a minute to do a tour?"

Soon a lovely young lady in a white flowing robe appeared. She greeted the young man and escorted him to the elevator, where she pushed the "up" button.

Soon the elevator door opened and they stepped out into a beautiful verdant field. An immense lawn lay before them. People dressed in white gossamer quietly sat on the grass. Some were strumming stringed instruments and others were singing. Deer played gently in the forested groves.

"This is heaven," the young lady said.

"It's quite beautiful," said the young man.

They went back to the elevator.

The young lady returned the young man to St. Peter. St. Peter picked up the phone and dialed again. "Lucifer," he said, "I need you to do a tour for me."

Soon a middle-aged man in a dark tuxedo showed up. He took the young man to the elevator and pressed the down button.

When the elevator came to a stop and the door opened, the young man was faced with an astounding sight.

It was a huge amphitheater. Multi-color lights were flashing. Loud music was playing. People, barely dressed, were dancing everywhere. Bars were set up as far as the eye could see. Scantily clad servers were circulating with trays full of wine and champagne. Couples were drifting off together to hidden recesses.

“This is hell,” said the middle-aged man.

“Wow,” the young man said. "I never pictured it like this."

The young man was returned to St. Peter.

“Well?” St. Peter asked.

“I’m really confused,” said the young man. “I just don’t know.”

“Why don’t you sleep on it,” said St. Peter. “Spend the night here and in the morning you can tell me what you’ve decided.

All night long the young man couldn’t sleep. He went back and forth. Finally he made up his mind.

“What will it be?” asked St. Peter in the morning.

“I’ve decided to go downstairs,” said the young man.

“Very well, then,” said St. Peter, and he called Lucifer to escort the young man to the down elevator.

Back down they went. This time, however, when the elevator opened, it was a completely different sight.

People were screaming. Fires were burning. Horrible, acrid smoke was everywhere.

“What’s going on here?” asked the young man. “Yesterday there was music and laughter. Today it’s torture and screaming.”

“Yesterday you were a prospect," Lucifer explained. “Today you’re a client.”