The Ad Contrarian: Best Press Release Ever

May 26, 2012

Best Press Release Ever

The great George Parker at AdScam posted this yesterday, but I just have to repost it because it is truly priceless. It is from an Oracle press release.

"Together, Oracle and Vitrue plan to enable a unified social experience across customer interactions, resulting in meaningful customer engagements with consistent brand experiences across all channels..."

What? No ecosystem?

Ad Contrarian Says:

"Social Media: Tens of millions of disagreeable people looking to make trouble."

"Creative people make the ads. Everyone else makes the arrangements."

"Delusional thinking isn't just acceptable in marketing today -- it's mandatory."

"Shakespeare was a storyteller. You're a copywriter."

"Good ads appeal to us as consumers. Great ads appeal to us as humans."

"As an ad medium, the web is a much better yellow pages and a much worse television."

"Sometimes success in the advertising business requires sitting quietly and letting clients proceed with their hysterical delusions."

"Marketers prefer precise answers that are wrong to imprecise answers that are right."

"Brand studies last for months, cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, and generally have less impact on business than cleaning the drapes."

"The idea that the same consumer who was frantically clicking her TV remote to escape from advertising was going to merrily click her mouse to interact with it is going to go down as one of the great advertising delusions of all time."

"Nobody really knows what "creativity" is. Every year thousands of people take a pilgrimage to find out. This involves flying to Cannes, snorting cocaine, and having sex with smokers."

"Marketers habitually overestimate the attraction of new things and underestimate the power of traditional consumer behavior."

"We don’t get them to try our product by convincing them to love our brand. We get them to love our brand by convincing them to try our product."

"In American business, there is nothing stupider than the previous generation of management."

"If the message is right, who cares what screen people see it on? If the message is wrong, what difference does it make?"

"The only form of product information on the planet less trustworthy than advertising is the shrill ravings of web maniacs."

"There's no bigger sucker than a gullible marketer convinced he's missing a trend."

"All ad campaigns are branding campaigns. Whether you intend it to be a branding campaign is irrelevant. It will create an impression of your brand regardless of your intent."

"Nobody ever got famous predicting that things would stay pretty much the same."

May 26, 2012

Best Press Release Ever

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"One of our truly great marketing iconoclasts" Prof. Mark Ritson

Nominated for Marketing Book of the Year

"The Best Speaker We've Ever Had"

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"I wish I'd been brave enough to be this rude"

"Caustic Yet Truthful"

"WARNING: This book will make you laugh out loud."

"The Most Provocative Man In Advertising"

"Savage Critiques Of Digital Hype"

"Fabulously Irreverent"

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