January 29, 2009

Only In Berkeley

Berkeley is a non-stop chucklefest. Here's the latest.

It seems that the Berkeley Public Library is in violation of the city's Nuclear Free Ordinance. No, they're not enriching uranium down in the basement or stashing H-bombs in the comparative lit stacks.

So what's the problem? Well, it seems they have these 5 scanners for checking out library books. The only company that services these scanners is 3M, which hasn't signed Berkeley's nuclear-free disclosure form as required by the Nuclear Free Berkeley Act. Apparently 3M has more to worry about than Berkeley's 5 library card scanners.

The important thing to know is that Berkeley is a nuclear free area. So if some nutjob like Ahmadinejad or Kim Jong-Il gets his hands on a nuke, get your ass here as fast as possible.

But I digress...

So these scanner machines have not been serviced in six months. The poor library people went before the Berkeley Peace and Justice Commission (I'm not kidding) to ask for a waiver so it could have its scanners fixed.

The Peace and Justice Commission rejected this request 7-1. Said Peace and Justice Commissioner George Lippman, "The act is meant to be a blow against nuclear war."

You can't make this shit up.

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