Okay, boys and girls, here is the obligatory Super Bowl post.
- I don't know how much GoDaddy paid Bar Refaeli to kiss that guy but whatever it was, it wasn't enough.
- Amy Poehler was funny. But if Best Buy's management thinks they're going to rescue their rotten carcass by promoting their fabulous customer service they really ought to go to one of their stores and try to buy something.
- Every day, Facebook has an audience that is three times the size of the Super Bowl's audience. That's every day, not just once year. Yet, in its entire history, not one person has ever mentioned or discussed or remembered a single fucking ad they've ever seen on Facebook.
- Sometimes you don't need a strategy. The Audi prom spot was wonderful. But bravery? Please.
- Couldn't believe my ears. That Pepsi Next spot actually said "real cola taste." As horrible as it was, at least Bud Black Crown didn't stoop to "real beer flavor."
- By the way, Bud and Pepsi were the two biggest losers. First was Bud -- remember when they did good advertising? Sorry, boys. Dark and ominous just doesn't work on Super Bowl Sunday. Second was Pepsi. Blew a fortune promoting Beyonce and didn't say a single memorable thing about their products. By the way, Beyonce, where are the wardrobe malfunctions when we need them?
- The Biggest Whack award goes to the advertiser who spends the most money on a spot needlessly. And this year's winner is... Mercedes-Benz for paying zillions for huge stars and the rights to Sympathy For The Devil when the most impactful thing they could have done was just show that beautiful fucking car and then super the price. It would have saved millions and been twice as effective.
- Second place goes to Kia for "Where do babies come from." I'm sure lots of people loved it . It had all the right ingredients -- babies and animals and baby animals -- but the spot had nothing at all to do with the car and in 24 hours no one will remember who it was for. But it's the Super Bowl, so you have to make a spot that looks like a Super Bowl spot.
- Hey Subway -- is it really that hard to say February?
- End of an era? Big losers this year were advertisers who followed the knucklehead script and tied their spots to stupid online gimmicks -- Coke, Axe, Lincoln, Oreo. Big winners were advertisers who just focused on making good spots. Does this mean that the era of Super Bowl dumb-ass online promotions is over? Sadly, no.
- Didn't mind the blackout. Spent the time trying to decide who to vote for on line to win the big bottle of Coke, and whether to vote for cookies or cream on Instagram, and tweeting my "handle-it" moment. By the way, whatever happened to "like us on Facebook?" Is that over? And speaking of which...
- PSY -- please pack your things. Your 15 minutes are up
- Best by a mile: Ram. Also good: Samsung, Tide, VW.
- Hated: Taco Bell, Century 21, Blackberry.
- As usual, a lot of spots trying to look like Super Bowl spots (aliens, animals, slapstick, sex, celebrities) but very few real ideas.
- Only Super Bowl tweet worth reading came from Steve Martin: "I didn't realize there would be commercials."
