March 19, 2012

Inter-Galactic Worldwide Experientiator Predicts End Of Advertising

Just when you think every meatball who has predicted the end of advertising has either been exiled, jailed, or sent to the permanent rotating 4A's conference on "transformation," up pops another one.

This one is the "Global Brand Experience Manager" for Facebook. I'm pretty sure everything you need to know about him is explained in his title.

According to this guy, traditional advertising and marketing are nearing their end and they will be replaced by "many lightweight interactions." Well, if anyone should know about "lightweight interactions" it's Facebook.

We have all read this same "advertising is dead" nonsense 1,000 times over the past decade, and the idea that someone is still spouting it is a pretty good tribute to the enduring power of dimness. 

It's hard to believe that anyone would publish another article entitled Is The End Near For Traditional Advertising? but there it is at a website called The Daily Dose, which is apparently run by Entrepreneur magazine. The perpetrators of The Daily Dose apparently live in some kind of upper-crust twit dream world...
"Much like the way we develop friendships over a period of time, an entire generation of advertisers will need to plan their marketing scenarios around the concept of building relationships. We often meet new acquaintances through friends. We chat them up, maybe catch them later at a party with other mutual acquaintances, discover we have similar interests, and, before you know it, we’re all packed up and off on a weekend ski trip together in Vermont."
How absolutely charming. We're all cozy and snug in our little weekend ski chalet in Vermont.

Gag me with a snow board.

I swear, these "marketing relationship" doofuses have left orbit. They are so far out of touch with the real behavior of real people that you can't even write parodies any more. The originals are more ridiculous.

The Dose goes on to say...
"...we can subtly promoting our brands in passing -- as an aside to a bigger discussion or conversation...lightweight, not heavyweight. With the advent of the World Wide Web, there’s so much information out there for us to absorb and so little time to absorb it. As a result, the best way to introduce new products, content or ideas to consumers will be seamlessly, naturally and subtly through word-of-mouth interactions."
If I may rewrite that sentence, it ought to read like this...
"With the advent of the World Wide Web, there’s so much information out there for us to absorb and so little time to absorb it... that we really need to hit people over the fucking head more forcefully and relentlessly than ever."
Most of these "relationship" goobers couldn't sell a nose ring to a barista. As George Tannenbaum brilliantly put it last week...
"They are the the great un-accountables who produce nothing but hot air, nothing that lives and breathes, nothing that has an impact in the market. Nothing you can pin down."
But hell, who's got time for that when all your fabulous ski friends are waiting for you up in Vermont?

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