TO: Registered Delegates
FROM: SXSW Board of Directors
SUBJECT: The SXSW Human Re-Purposing Project
Each year at this time, the world's most awesome people travel to Awestin, TX to join us at the gathering known as SXSW (pronounced "Some Xceptionally Smug Wankers.") SXSW exists at the intersection of technology, marketing, and self-absorption.
It's a fun filled conclave of forward-thinking individuals who understand that the only way to really change the world is to spend shitloads of other peoples' money on horrible music and really crappy Mexican food.
We like to think of it as America's version of the Cannes Film Festival, except without the talent.
This year, the spirit of SXSW found its essence in the use of homeless people as human WiFi Hot Spots. Not only did this idea capture the wonderful spirit of SXSW, it also demonstrated our commitment to our core values:
Because of the success of Human Hotspots, the leadership at SXSW has decided to expand this idea and take it global.
We want to hear your thoughts on how we might use human beings in new and useful ways. Please submit them to The SXSW Human Re-Purposing Project. Here are some thought starters: Human Sandwich Bags, Human Toaster Strudel, Human Account Planners...use your imagination!
In order to qualify, your ideas must be expressed in such a way as to give the impression that you really care about these people. So remember -- be sure to make up some humanitarian sounding bullshit to go along with your disgusting self-serving PR stunt.
And thank you all for being...Some Xceptionally Smug Wankers!