The Eco-Marketing Scam

Here at Ad Contrarian World Headquarters, we bow to no man in our appreciation of ducks and trees and beavers and lilacs and swamps and mud and bunnies and oxygen.

However, we also harbor deep suspicions about people who make a public spectacle of their supposed dedication to environmental purity. As far as we're concerned, the philosophical underpinnings of a virtuous life can be summed up very briefly -- do it and shut the fuck up.

Consequently, we are more than a little annoyed at the burgeoning movement toward environmental grandstanding by corporate America. We are happy that corporations are starting to feel responsible for the messes they create. But we are of the mind that cleaning-up after yourself is a fundamental responsibility, not an extra credit project.

Of all the eco-bluster currently in vogue, the kind that really fries our eggs is the kind that hijacks the language of environmentalism, but has nothing at all do with it.

On your right you will see a little bit of cynical eco-babble we found in a Westin hotel last week. You probably can't read the small print, but what it says is that by not using the double-headed shower apparatus they have installed we can "restore our world."

So here's what I want to know. If they're so concerned about restoring our world, why the fuck did they install these wasteful, unnecessary shower heads to begin with?

Because they're phony, cynical bastards who are trying to have it both ways? I would never say such a thing, but a less magnanimous person might certainly draw that conclusion.