The web is buzzing with unflattering commentary about Apple's latest TV campaign. I'll be writing about it soon.
As a byproduct of Apple's ad problems, a post I wrote last year is getting a lot of attention and traffic.
If you're interested, the piece is called Advertising And The Future Of Apple and you can find it here.
July 31, 2012
July 30, 2012
Invasion Of The Paramarketers
We have a new breed in the advertising and marketing world. They are paramarketers -- almost marketers. They know the language. They know the look. They know the moves. But they don't have the chops.
In medicine and the law, people who are almost doctors and almost lawyers are clearly labeled. They are paramedics and paralegals. But in marketing, there are no such labels. They are called marketing managers or account planners or strategy directors or ...
They have taken all the courses, read all the books and attended all the conferences. But they have never actually sold anything to anyone. They have never stood on the floor of a showroom and sold someone a car. They have never worked in a clothing store and sold someone a dress. Their experience is all in the theory of selling, not the activity of selling. They have never stood face-to-face with an actual person and learned what it takes to convince someone to buy something.
They don't understand that advertising and marketing are just selling at a distance.
They believe in glib notions. They think people buy tires because they are part of a "community." And they buy peanut butter because they have a "relationship" with the brand. They think consumers want to have "conversations" with them and "interact" with their advertising. They think technology is bigger than life and ideas are deader than dead.
They are taught this nonsense by professors and pundits and speakers who also have never sold anything.
They are not just young people. They are also old people trying to act young. Many are veterans who have succeeded despite having never sold anything. They have surfed the wave of someone else's successful enterprise.
The marketing world has always had its share of paraprofessionals. But never before have they had the influence or the authority they do now.
In medicine and the law, people who are almost doctors and almost lawyers are clearly labeled. They are paramedics and paralegals. But in marketing, there are no such labels. They are called marketing managers or account planners or strategy directors or ...
They have taken all the courses, read all the books and attended all the conferences. But they have never actually sold anything to anyone. They have never stood on the floor of a showroom and sold someone a car. They have never worked in a clothing store and sold someone a dress. Their experience is all in the theory of selling, not the activity of selling. They have never stood face-to-face with an actual person and learned what it takes to convince someone to buy something.
They don't understand that advertising and marketing are just selling at a distance.
They believe in glib notions. They think people buy tires because they are part of a "community." And they buy peanut butter because they have a "relationship" with the brand. They think consumers want to have "conversations" with them and "interact" with their advertising. They think technology is bigger than life and ideas are deader than dead.
They are taught this nonsense by professors and pundits and speakers who also have never sold anything.
They are not just young people. They are also old people trying to act young. Many are veterans who have succeeded despite having never sold anything. They have surfed the wave of someone else's successful enterprise.
The marketing world has always had its share of paraprofessionals. But never before have they had the influence or the authority they do now.
July 27, 2012
Ad Contrarian Bails Out Facebook
As you probably know, Facebook announced their earnings yesterday and the men in the grey suits on Wall Street were not happy. Shares in Facebook dropped 10% in after-hours trading after falling 8.5% earlier in the day. Facebook shares were already selling for less than a toasted raisin bagel with light cream cheese, so this was not a good thing.
One thing we don't want is for the men in grey suits to get angry at us again. Remember when they did that in 2008 and took away all our money and give it to General Motors? So here at The Ad Contrarian Global Headquarters we knew we had to do something.
We called an emergency meeting of the executive board of The Ad Contrarian Foundation and the board voted to donate $250 to Facebook.
Here's what we're doing. We have produced an ad to appear on Facebook. It's about our semi-brilliant, not-quite-best-seller 101 Contrarian Ideas About Advertising. The ad is guaranteed to have a negative ROI because the cost-per-click I brilliantly negotiated is higher than the profit I make on each sale. So even if every click results in a sale, I still lose my ass. Pretty slick, huh?
But you know what? That creepy Zuckerberg kid needs the money more than I do.
Now here's the fun part. As you read here earlier this week, banner ads with nothing in them -- blank ads -- outperformed Facebook ads in a research experiment. So I got together with the president of my agency (the lovely and annoying Sharon Krinsky) and we decided to do another experiment. What if we produced ads that were less than nothing. What if we insulted and ridiculed our target audience? How would those ads perform?
We decided the target audience for the ads should be people who bought Facebook stock -- if they are stupid enough to buy that, they'll buy anything.
Then we needed a headline that would be nice and insulting. But here's the hard part. In a Facebook headline you're not allowed more than 25 characters. We struggled over this one for almost 15 minutes (twice as long as the average creative team spends on a Facebook ad.) Finally it came to us. The headline is Click Here Sucker! We felt that the exclamation mark added that certain amateur quality that makes online advertising so appealing.
Then we needed to write some body copy that in 90 characters appeared momentarily earnest but ended in ridicule. Here's what we came up with: "101 Contrarian Ideas About Advertising" A must read for anyone in marketing or jail.
We are not looking forward to pissing away $250 dollars, but we are proud to have helped our friends at Facebook. They have provided us with mountains of fun-packed material. It's the least we can do.
Remember, every time you click on this ad, it costs me money.
We'll report back with results.
One thing we don't want is for the men in grey suits to get angry at us again. Remember when they did that in 2008 and took away all our money and give it to General Motors? So here at The Ad Contrarian Global Headquarters we knew we had to do something.
We called an emergency meeting of the executive board of The Ad Contrarian Foundation and the board voted to donate $250 to Facebook.
Here's what we're doing. We have produced an ad to appear on Facebook. It's about our semi-brilliant, not-quite-best-seller 101 Contrarian Ideas About Advertising. The ad is guaranteed to have a negative ROI because the cost-per-click I brilliantly negotiated is higher than the profit I make on each sale. So even if every click results in a sale, I still lose my ass. Pretty slick, huh?
But you know what? That creepy Zuckerberg kid needs the money more than I do.
Now here's the fun part. As you read here earlier this week, banner ads with nothing in them -- blank ads -- outperformed Facebook ads in a research experiment. So I got together with the president of my agency (the lovely and annoying Sharon Krinsky) and we decided to do another experiment. What if we produced ads that were less than nothing. What if we insulted and ridiculed our target audience? How would those ads perform?
We decided the target audience for the ads should be people who bought Facebook stock -- if they are stupid enough to buy that, they'll buy anything.
Then we needed a headline that would be nice and insulting. But here's the hard part. In a Facebook headline you're not allowed more than 25 characters. We struggled over this one for almost 15 minutes (twice as long as the average creative team spends on a Facebook ad.) Finally it came to us. The headline is Click Here Sucker! We felt that the exclamation mark added that certain amateur quality that makes online advertising so appealing.
Then we needed to write some body copy that in 90 characters appeared momentarily earnest but ended in ridicule. Here's what we came up with: "101 Contrarian Ideas About Advertising" A must read for anyone in marketing or jail.
Remember, every time you click on this ad, it costs me money.
We'll report back with results.
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