March 26, 2018

Top 10 Fixes For Facebook

Facebook's crack PR team met in secret over the weekend to discuss the scandal that has rocked the company. They drew up a 10-point plan to deal with the issues and re-establish public trust.

So here it is. Facebook's 10-point PR plan to fix the company:
1. Start referring to COO as Sheryl "Stormy" Sandburg
2. Adopt new corporate slogan: Google Is Even Worse
3. Use data-driven analytics and artificial intelligence to test concept of "telling the truth"

4. Legally change Zuckerberg to Vaynerzuck
5. Launch Social Responsibility initiative: Hire someone over 30 or a black person or something
6.  Send out 50 million "save-the-date" evites to next Hackathon
7. Always refer to stolen personal private information as "fun files"
8.  Tweak logo design: Two thumbs up
9. Hire Kendall Jenner to give every member of Congress a Pepsi
10. Move a little more slowly and break things

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