January 06, 2014

10 TV Spots We Don't Need To See In 2014

Here at The Ad Contrarian World Headquarters we are trying to do everything possible to re-establish the idea that ads should be interesting.

Our thinking is that maybe if we make ads interesting we can get all the data monkeys to shut up for a few minutes.

In order to inspire creative people to do better, here are 10 TV spots that we've all seen a thousand times and we really don't need to see again in 2014.

If you can resist the urge to re-make these spots this year you will make yourself a better creative person and keep us TV viewers from killing ourselves.

Thanks in advance.
10 TV Spots We Don't Need To See In 2014
1. The two-white-guys-and-one-black-guy-go-to-a-bar spot.
2. The automotive sales event spot that makes fun of automotive sales event spots.

3. The soda spot where multi-ethnic people from all over the world jump around while a pop star sings.

4. The spot about how I have to plan now for my retirement.

5. The spot in which two famous athletes compete by doing something stupid.

6. The spot where a precocious 9-year-old helps out her clueless dad.

7. The girls-night-out spot.

8. The spot about how I can bank from anywhere using my cell phone.

9. The spot where the titles move around in all directions and give me a fucking headache.
10. The spot in which people of all sizes and colors repeat each other's words and finish each other's sentences. 
Every one of these spots sucks. They suck now, and they sucked 30 years ago when they were invented.

Please help us all out by taking a vow not to make any of these spots again in 2014.


Brian Jacobs said...

Or make sure they all appear on online channels where the only people seeing them don't exist.

Carl Zetie said...

11. The clueless dad who doesn't know which end of the baby the diaper goes on and has to be rescued by his wife with a condescending "I don't have one child, I have two" look on her face.

12. Any spot based around a strained sports metaphor, whether it's a car that goes the distance for a touchdown, a job on a winning team, or a smartphone that's as good as the infield fly rule with men on base and fewer than two out in the bottom of the ninth.

13. Any of these car ad cliches: http://theczardictates.blogspot.com/2009/01/women-and-cars.html

Tony Quinn said...

14. The fit 62 year old dude starting fires with his facial hair and a couple rusty fish hooks, so he can cook the wolverine he just killed with his bare hands, then he nails the hot 30 something women in the tent with a score by the Black Keys. Wait... I actually like those ads.

Bob said...

The spot that makes the client's product/service seem so amazing, that the mom/dad miss out on something TRULY amazing (a baby juggling chainsaws, a monkey balancing a car on its finger, etc.).

Jason Fox said...

11. Spots that tell me a product lets me "stay connected."

Robinbrown88 said...

No More Idiot Dads! Oh, and how about less of those "inspiring" tech ones showing urban young people doing something awesome with a millennial voiceover talking about connectedness while pling plingy music plays.

Mohammad A. said...

Gracias por volver Bob. Dios que usted y su sabidurĂ­a publicidad bendiga. Usted es el Jeses Cristo de la industria de la publicidad.

Glenn Street said...

I think that before an ad airs, it must be played wherever a CEO and CD goes, at least once every 10 minutes from the time each awakes until the time each beds down for the night. If neither are sick of the ad by the end of their day, it is released,

CentralLondoner1 said...

I'm not an advertising guy, but if I can have my rant. I'm tired of seeing hipster couples (who look as if they're a few years out of college and working as graphic artists) marketing luxury cars, 5* vacations or similarly expensive items as if they could afford them.