December 18, 2013

Let's Get Phygital

For the holidays, I'm taking a few weeks off from blogging and re-publishing some of my favorite posts of the past year. Here's one from last February.

We are so used to massive bullshit in the advertising business that it really takes something special to shock us.

I'm happy to say, however, that our industry is up to the challenge. You want bullshit that's something special? We got it.

Last weekend I came across a truly outstanding exercise in painful marketing drivel, and I'm proud to share it with you.

It is hard to believe that an agency would actually allow this nonsense on its website. But not only is it on the website, it is the lead copy on their landing page and, apparently, the underpinning of their philosophy.

Buckle up:
Co-creating with brands and people in the Phygital world.                     Modern consumers are "connected protagonists." They are the heroes of their own stories and, thanks to technology, they now have access to an audience of unprecedented size. This presents brands with powerful new opportunities for growth, if brands give consumers the currency to create and share better stories. That currency is content - be it entertainment, connection, experience or information - as long as it is created with the understanding that we live in a Phygital world, where the physical and digital parts of our lives are one and the same. We believe that only through co-creating currency with brands and people - instead of for people - can you guarantee authentic engagements that consumers value and want to share. Momentum provides to marketers - in thought and action - the ideas that engage the connected protagonist to build value for brands and people.
Wow. Let's forget all the usual hogwash -- the co-creating, and the engaging, and the sharing, and the currency (note to author -- you seem to have forgotten "ecosystem." Points off.) Let's get to the fun stuff.

The "connected protagonist." He sounds like an amiable guy with an unsevered umbilicus.

And how are you gonna beat Phygital? I mean, c'mon. It's awesome. It's Stupiculous! If they gave awards for just plain dumbness, Phygital would get double platinum. Maybe quadruple (what comes after quadruple?)

Which gets me thinking. They give awards for everything else in the ad business. Why not for the only thing we're really good at -- bullshit?


Jim Powell said...

Someone checked that, high fived Julian and shouted we've nailed it.

tim said...

Phygital. I thought that was the state 4 year olds worked themselves into during a church service.

johnwhipe said...

I have a theory, that once an agency has a stable cash flow and has 100+ employees, it starts to come up with stellar bullshit to prove themselves that they are something out of the ordinary. Suddenly everyone forgets that basically advertising is just about selling tampons and condoms - and they magically start to invent nonsense, becoming trendsetters, creating ecosystems etc all that on the expense of the client.

But hey, i'm still selling tampons, maybe in a year or two when i hit the "stellar" patient side of the hospital, i too will start coming up with messiah bullshit...