April 01, 2013

10 Rules For Happy Living

Today, I begin a new life as an irresponsible drain on the treasury of the United States.

It's a career I've always felt well-suited for. I'm afraid it's not going to last long because I'm already drawing up plans. But while it's here I'm going to enjoy it.

I am kicking off my new situation on a positive note. I know, it's not really my brand, but what the hell.

Having lived now for a couple of hundred years, I've developed some convictions about the subject. This seems like a good occasion to express them.

Why you should listen to an old ad guy's notions about life, I have no idea. Nonetheless, I've finally gotten my sorry ass out of the agency business and I'm feeling very chirpy and agreeable and there's always the dim possibility that this will all turn out pleasantly.

So here are The Ad Contrarian's 10 Rules For Happy Living.
1. Marry a cheerful person. There's no joy in waking up with a whiner.

2. Have a hobby. I don't care what it is -- yodeling, checkers, luge, whatever. Something you love that takes your mind off the horrors.

3. Secretly do nice things. You'll feel better.
4. Avoid pop culture. It's a cesspool that will make you anxious and stupid.
5. Ignore politics. The people you think are heroes are assholes. And nothing works anyway.
6. Stand up straight. You'll look better.

7. Question everything. Especially your own strongly held beliefs.

8. Work hard. Success is very pleasant.

9. Have kids. And pray for the best.

10. Don't be afraid to tell assholes you hate them. It helps everybody.
Today is the first day of the rest of the week.


WhatChrisLikes said...

It's okay to be off-brand when what you're saying is good.

This was nice to read this morning.

David Burn said...

Down the elevator and out the door. Your investment is well made at this point. Congrats on decades of hard work, and telling it like it is.

BTW, number 10 here is totally on brand!

Bryan said...

#10 all the way.

CaliforniaGirl500 said...

Congratulations! And I'm freaking jealous.

Anonymous said...

Hi there it's me, I am also visiting this website regularly, this site is really fastidious and the users are in fact sharing good thoughts.

Here is my page - diet plans for women

Paul Alves said...

Hahaha! Agree 100% Great advice.