The Big "Fuck You"

In case you haven't heard, we had an election here the other day. The people spoke and what they said was "fuck you."

They said "fuck you" to Washington.
They said "fuck you" to global corporations.
They said "fuck you" to people who look down on them and ridicule them.
They said "fuck you" to Silicon Valley billionaires.
They said "fuck you" to people who don't look like them or speak their language.
They said "fuck you" to transgender toilets.
They said "fuck you" to Black Lives Matter.
They said "fuck you" to the media.
They said "fuck you" to Hollywood.
They said "fuck you" to people who want to tell them what they can eat and what they can say.
They said "fuck you" to safe spaces.
They said "fuck you" to smug elitist scum like you and me.
They said "fuck you" to modernism.
They said "fuck you" to Facebook and "fuck you" to fucking self-driving cars.
They said "fuck you" to logic and "fuck you" to decency and "fuck you" to propriety.

They stuck their middle fingers way up high in the air and in a flood of pent up anger said "fuck you."

The Opposite Of Data

You don't need an MBA to figure out that most of the really big marketing successes of our time did not come from data analysis or business models or strategy briefs or professional marketers. They came from daydreamers with a hunch:

• Steve Jobs
• Walt Disney
• J.K. Rowling
• Mark Zuckerberg

The list could go on for weeks.

The advertising industry -- whose only important asset is ideas -- has learned nothing from this. We keep heading in the wrong direction.  We hire more and more math majors. Then we take the people who are supposed to be our idea people and give them banners to do by 3 o'clock.

We need to rethink the whole idea of what we mean by "creative department."

We don't need more people who are tech-savvy or analytical. We need some brains-in-a-bottle who have no responsibility other than to sit in a corner and feed us crazy ideas.

Just a cursory look at the output of most agencies and marketing companies will convince anyone that primarily what we are producing is different versions of the same things.

I am not suggesting for a moment that the development of big ideas is easy or can be formularized. Nor am I suggesting that data is not important. Nor am I suggesting that having information thwarts creativity. What I am suggesting is that creativity is being subsumed by our obsession with data.

Big ideas are a by-product. They don't come from briefs and assignments. They don't come from trying to have a big idea. They come indirectly from staring off into space.

Ad agencies and marketing departments need daydreamers. Does that mean we are going to produce the next Jobs or the next Rowling? Not likely. But that's not the point.

Our industry is drowning in math and starving for ideas. We need people who can dream shit up. We need impractical, illogical people.

We have plenty of data. We need some more of the opposite.

It's Your Lucky Day

If you're a regular here, you know that once a quarter the finance committee at The Ad Contrarian Worldwide Headquarters insists that we earn money to pay off the lawsuits by doing some shameless self-promotion.

Well, today's your lucky day.

Now that we have a whole fucking ecosystem of Ad Contrariana going on, I'm only going to bother you with two things. First is speaking.

If you've been to any conferences, sales meetings, or industry events recently and have had to sit through the life-threatening assault on intelligence that passes for "thought leadership," you are probably aware of the desperate need for entertaining and provocative speakers. Well, I'm the next best thing.

Rather than bore you with self-serving assertions, I'll bore you with third party endorsements:

“… the best speaker we’ve ever had.” Time Inc, UK

"The most provocative man in advertising." Michael Gass, Fuel Lines

"Thank you. People loved it...we have had many comments... Every one of them is 'wow'" A very nice TV executive from Norway whose permission I don't have to print this.

 “...the most entertaining talk given during Advertising Week Europe (or any conference for that matter.”) AdRants

"Your presentation could not have been better...A beautifully articulated provocation to an industry that needs it." Matt Dowshen, President, PNYC

"Bob Hoffman has mastered the art of getting people’s attention...the whoops and cheers were plentiful... In any case, Hoffman knows exactly what he is doing." The Irish Times

So, the point is, if you need a speaker for an event that will be entertaining and provocative, I know a guy.

Here's where you can find info about what I speak about and where you can reach me. I'm now accepting dates for 2017.

Next is the book Marketers Are From Mars, Consumers Are From New Jersey. Once again, I'll defer to the reviewers:

"Likely the funniest marketing book ever"
 Amazon Review

"How much do I like this book? I refer to it almost daily for comic relief, brutal honesty, and 'inspiration.' This should be required reading at every advertising school in the country" 
Rich Siegel, author, "The Big Book Of Rants"

"Simply Priceless"
 Amazon Review

"...a fun and uproarious read"
 Douglas Burnett, host of "The Marketing Book Podcast"

"Hilarious, irreverent and informative!"
Amazon Review

"I didn't stick around...after reading the F word (twice), in the first couple of pages. That was a REAL turn-off and I'm guessing there was more crude language to come." 
Geraldine

"Fantastic, brutal and very honest"
 Amazon Review

The ebook book costs 99¢ which is less than you pay for a banana at the airport. And if you're a real big spender spring for the paperback for $5.25.

Okay, so here's what you need to do:

• Call the person who plans the conferences or sales meetings you attend and tell her to book me.
• Go to Amazon and buy the book.
• Go back to pretending you're working.