October 11, 2010

How Social Media Controls Everything

A reader has written to me and said,
"Dear Ad Contrarian,
I go to marketing meetings every day. Often there are very bewildering slides presented. Just between you and me, I have no idea what these slides mean.  But all my bosses keep nodding their heads and saying, "Hmm, that's interesting."

I am afraid that if I don't have intimidating slides pretty soon, I'm going to be thrown out of the marketing department and sent to a department where people have to work. Can you help me?"

-- Misty in Sunnyvale
Yes, Misty, I think I can help

In the world of marketing, the super-best subject to have complicated slides about is social media. If you have perplexing slides about social media, not only will you be admired and respected by friends and colleagues, you will also be considered an expert. Then, anytime someone has a question about social media, you can just make something up. It's the law!

I have created a nice slide about social media for you. I have used pictures and boxes and arrows and dotted lines and colors and even more arrows. Not only will this impress your bosses, it will also prepare you for a lifetime of  brain-damaging Powerpoint presentations.

Oh, and if anyone questions the validity of anything on this slide all you need to do is adopt your best condescending voice and say, "You just don't get it, do you."




You can print your own personal copy of How Social Media Controls Everything to pin on your wall or send to a loved one.  It's here.

October 08, 2010

I Hate The iPhone

Everything I Don't Need, Nothing I Do
I have been an iPhone user since its inception. As I've written before in this space, I hate the damn thing. It is the most unreliable, frustrating, crappy piece of shit Apple has ever made.

Unfortunately for me, everything else in my office is an Apple product and for the sake of connectivity I'm stuck with using the iPhone.

It has all the stuff I don't need and none of the stuff I do need. I don't need an app that tells me what my sperm count is. I need a phone that freaking works. Got that, Steve?

Recently I bought the newest iPhone. It is even worse than its predecessors. I don't think I've ever made a call that it hasn't dropped. I was recently on a conversation with a client and the call was dropped 3 times. The same client left me a voice mail message. I got it a week later.

All along, Apple and its fanboys have been blaming AT&T for the problems. Now that Verizon will soon be selling iPhones, we'll see.

Where Are The Good Guys Hiding?
Yesterday I wrote a a post called Junk Research, Shabby Journalism, and Social Media. In it I reported on a piece of alarmingly unreliable "research" about social media marketing.

I want to be clear that I do not think that all social media marketing people are incompetent or dishonest. There are very hard-working, intelligent people with lots of integrity working in social media marketing.  A few of them actually work for me. And while I am still far from convinced that social media marketing is anywhere near as effective as it is purported to be, I have no question at all that most of the people working in the field are honest and trustworthy.

What I don't understand is why they put up with the hustlers and the know-nothing jargonistas? Why do they allow these people to continue to give them a bad name? 

To protect its reputations, the social media marketing community needs to call out the hustlers and the con men -- so that pricks like me don't have to.

October 07, 2010

Junk Research, Shabby Journalism, And Social Media

Recently, a colleague sent me an article from Fast Company called What Women Want: Facebook Ads!
 
The article was about the amazing ability of Facebook to influence female consumers.
"Businesses may have once had to guess how their ads are being received, but no longer..."
...is how Fast Company put it.

The article ran in January of this year and at first glance offers a pretty impressive array of statistics about the power of marketing to women by using Facebook.

On second and third glance, however, it is a very good example of boosterism disguised as journalism, and self-serving manipulation masquerading as research.

Here are some of the quotes from the Fast Company article:
"Half of the respondents said they bought a product in 2009 because of something they'd seen on a social networking site."
"...a whopping 80% of the women polled said they had (become fans of brands or products)"
"...it is excellent data for retailers searching for clues about competing in this pinched consumer world."
Well, this is pretty convincing stuff. And there was more. So I decided to explore a little further.

As the source of its information, the Fast Company article linked to an article called Women Warm Up to Brands on Social Sites on a website called eMarketer Digital Intelligence.  From this article I learned that:
"80% of female Internet users said they had become a fan of a product or brand on a social network."

"One-half of female Internet users had brought (sic) a product because of a social network."
Being a semi-open-minded kind of guy, I started thinking that maybe I needed to revise my opinion about the effectiveness of social media marketing.

But something was bothering me. Neither of the articles was very clear about the design or analysis of the research. Who designed it? Who interpreted the results? Who were the women they studied? How were they selected?

In the case of Fast Company, the respondents were characterized as "the women polled" or the "respondents." In eMarketer, the respondents were identified as "Internet users."

The article at eMarketer attributed the research to SheSpeaks “Annual Social Media Study.”

So I went to SheSpeaks to find the study. What I found was startling.

Here's what SheSpeaks says about itself.
"Our community engagement programs help brands start conversations with target consumers. We introduce your brand to consumers, create and sustain conversations, capture honest and authentic feedback, and identify and nurture brand advocates.

We help your brand story become part of her conversations."
In other words, SheSpeaks seems to make its living by finding women who are actively engaged in online social activities and signing them up. Then they further encourage these women to use social media tools to advocate for their clients' brands. 

And the only women who took part in this "research" were members of SheSpeaks!

If you intentionally set out to create a sample skewed to produce a certain result, you couldn't have done better.

There is not a reputable researcher in the world who would use a sample like this to be representative of anything.

How can you possibly study this group -- and only this group -- and not get results that are hopelessly skewed? The answer is, you can't. It's like doing research on milk consumption by polling dairy farmers.

And yet, in all the reporting I read, and in the study itself, nowhere is it made clear that this group is way outside the profile of average women and the results should not be considered indicative of average behavior. In fact, quite the opposite is implied.

There is a certain aspect of the social media marketing culture that gives it an aroma of sneaky unreliability. It's like listening to a 16-year old explain how the car got scratched. This is the type of stuff that does it.


The shame is that gullible clients and naive "digital strategists" are being sold this baloney every day. 

As An Example Of How These "Facts" Spread... 
...here are a few excerpts of misleading reports about this survey from online "news" outlets:

According to Biz Report..."SheSpeaks' latest Social Media Study has been released and it shows that almost 90% of women are using popular social networks. Of interest to marketers will be their figures showing how social media is becoming a strong driver of purchase behavior." 

"A majority of U.S. women use social networking sites, and half of them say social networking sites influence their shopping habits. These are some of the key findings from a new study on online socials networking among women performed by social media platform SheSpeaks," says the website Marketing Vox.

"...Facebook, MySpace and Twitter, have emerged as key drivers of purchase intent among women, with one-half (50%) of social media users reporting they have purchased products because of information on social networking sites." says United Business Media's PR Newswire.

There are dozens more, but I'm getting hungry and you get the picture.