Same Circus, New Monkeys.

Before you go firing your head of marketing and hiring a new one, let me save you some time and money.

Here's what your new cmo will say:

1. We need to get more digital
2. We need to get younger

It doesn't matter what the problem is, the answer will be...

1. We need to get more digital
2. We need to get younger

You have a crappy product?

1. We need to get more digital
2. We need to get younger

You have no discernible strategy?

1. We need to get more digital
2. We need to get younger

Your advertising is a stupid pile of shit?

1. We need to get more digital
2. We need to get younger

Your stores are filthy, your people are morons?

1. We need to get more digital
2. We need to get younger

If you're looking for a marketing job, repeat after me:

1. We need to get more digital
2. We need to get younger

It's the universal marketing strategy and will get you hired by any dumbass corporation in America.

You'll only last 18 months, but that's ok. There will always be another big dumb corporation that needs your keen insights.