Social Media Madness Goes Global

Just when you think that utopian social media claptrap has about run its course, along comes something that renews your faith in the ability of web-addled maniacs to create infinite permutations of infantile nonsense.

And lest you think that America has a monopoly on social media madness, this thing comes our way via a recent article in B&T in Australia. According to the piece...

"We are now living our lives in a perpetual state of beta through social media."

Ohmygod, a perpetual state of beta! And I thought it was just a little case of irritable bowel syndrome...

"...it’s a place where opportunity and innovation exist interdependently presenting us with new paths and a new narrative; stories that inspire a sense of belonging to something bigger than ourselves. Understanding this fully is, in part, learning how we can authentically drive content across platforms to create new experiences."

Wow. Who knew? I imagined I was just posting some stuff on Facebook about how my friend's cat peed on his new golf bag. Turns out I'm authentically driving content across platforms to create new experiences! You gotta admit, I'm pretty awesome.

"Ultimately, it’s about learning how we can transform from being content producers to ‘context producers’ as we reflect reconnection in our products, culture, and people."

Well that settles it. I am so going to reflect reconnection in my products, culture and people.

"...a frontier where creative and strategic partnerships play out in a heroic celebration of the everyday, and which are bound together by a new currency that considers peoples’ lives...This is more than an altruistic pipe dream – it’s the emergent context made possible by sociological technical advancement."

So here's a question. Do  you have to be completely demented to be a social media director? Because this guy is clearly delusional. An "heroic celebration of the everyday?" In social media? Is this guy nuts? Social media is morons like me posting pictures of our dogs sleeping.

"The sheer profundity of our ability to bring together people of diverse background, geography, passion, interest and opinion, to create dynamic value and competitive advantage is evidence of what the future holds."

Dude, calm down. Here's what the future holds -- the same crap as now, only worse.

Help Wanted: Experienced account director who has managed a franchise-based account (ideally, but not necessarily, fast food.) This is an excellent position with the potential to manage an office. The position is in the Pacific Northwest. Send an email to adcontrarian@gmail.com 

The Absurdist Movement In Modern Marketing

It is hard to exaggerate the lengths to which  contemporary "experts" have gone to complicate the shit out of marketing.

You have only to go to a marketing conference to find yourself face to face with some kind of cockamamie diagram loaded with lines and arrows and buckets and silos that purports to visually demonstrate something terribly insightful about marketing.

Last week I came upon a doozy. This monstrosity was created at Forrester's recent "Customer Experience Forum" and is supposed to illustrate "The Customer Experience Ecosystem" as described by the event's keynote speaker.

Now, I think it goes without saying that any presentation with "ecosystem" in its title is likely to be a  seven-course bullshit banquet. But this gem has something about it that transcends your typical business wank-o-graph. Take a look at it and see if you can identify what makes this baby even more absurd than your average Rube Goldberg marketing diagram (if you're having trouble reading it, click on it and it will grow.)

At first glance, it's really no more silly than most consultants' "visualizations." It has the obligatory "touch points" and the above-mentioned ecosystems. Then, of course, you need to "map" the ecosystem and "socialize" the ecosystem. And when you're done with that you need to "nurture" the ecosystem. I'll get right on that. Of course there's a lot of prioritizing and prototyping going on as well.

But there's one exquisite little thing missing from this "Customer Experience Ecosystem." One little thing that some people might think is important. One little thing that might actually make an impact on an actual customer's actual experience.

It's the f*cking product!

Apparently, these days, a "Customer Experience Ecosystem" has nothing at all to do with the product or service. It's all 5-step processes and co-creations and touchpoints.

It occurs to me that we have reached a new level of absurdist marketing when an 'expert' is so profoundly confused she can't be bothered to include the product in the customer experience.

Thanks to Frank Johnson for this.

The Ad Contrarian's Fourth Anniversary

It's the fourth anniversary of this thing.

Ten days into it I thought I had run out of things to say. Fortunately, advertising is a very long-running comedy series. There always seems to be new material.

I have to be honest and say that the 4 years I have spent writing this blog have probably given me as much personal satisfaction as the more than 35 years I've spent in the ad business. I know there's something very wrong with that, but I'm not sure what it is.

Thanks to all who have taken the effort to check in here from time to time. I know you don't always agree with me -- and I'd be discouraged if you did -- but I hope I've given you some stuff to think about.

Thanks for four terrific years.