If you're a regular here, you know that once a quarter the finance committee at The Ad Contrarian Worldwide Headquarters insists that we earn money to pay off the lawsuits by doing some shameless self-promotion.
Well, today's your lucky day.
Now that we have a whole fucking ecosystem of Ad Contrariana going on, I'm only going to bother you with two things. First is speaking.
If you've been to any conferences, sales meetings, or industry events recently and have had to sit through the life-threatening assault on intelligence that passes for "thought leadership," you are probably aware of the desperate need for entertaining and provocative speakers. Well, I'm the next best thing.
Rather than bore you with self-serving assertions, I'll bore you with third party endorsements:
“… the best speaker we’ve ever had.” Time Inc, UK
"The most provocative man in advertising." Michael Gass, Fuel LinesSo, the point is, if you need a speaker for an event that will be entertaining and provocative, I know a guy.
"Thank you. People loved it...we have had many comments... Every one of them is 'wow'" A very nice TV executive from Norway whose permission I don't have to print this.
“...the most entertaining talk given during Advertising Week Europe (or any conference for that matter.”) AdRants
"Your presentation could not have been better...A beautifully articulated provocation to an industry that needs it." Matt Dowshen, President, PNYC
"Bob Hoffman has mastered the art of getting people’s attention...the whoops and cheers were plentiful... In any case, Hoffman knows exactly what he is doing." The Irish Times
Here's where you can find info about what I speak about and where you can reach me. I'm now accepting dates for 2017.
Next is the book Marketers Are From Mars, Consumers Are From New Jersey. Once again, I'll defer to the reviewers:
"Likely the funniest marketing book ever" Amazon Review
"How much do I like this book? I refer to it almost daily for comic relief, brutal honesty, and 'inspiration.' This should be required reading at every advertising school in the country" Rich Siegel, author, "The Big Book Of Rants"
"Simply Priceless" Amazon Review
"...a fun and uproarious read" Douglas Burnett, host of "The Marketing Book Podcast"
"Hilarious, irreverent and informative!" Amazon Review
"I didn't stick around...after reading the F word (twice), in the first couple of pages. That was a REAL turn-off and I'm guessing there was more crude language to come." Geraldine
"Fantastic, brutal and very honest" Amazon ReviewThe ebook book costs 99¢ which is less than you pay for a banana at the airport. And if you're a real big spender spring for the paperback for $5.25.
Okay, so here's what you need to do:
- Call the person who plans the conferences or sales meetings you attend and tell her to book me.
- Go to Amazon and buy the book.
- Go back to pretending you're working.