March 16, 2015

Hi-Tech High School

Having never been to either one, it's hard to decide which I hate more - Cannes or SXSW. Both of these WorldWide Whack-offs have so much to recommend them.

It's like trying to decide which is more important -- Ads That Never Ran or Things That Will Never Happen.

Well, anyway, if you are going to Awestin for SXSW, here's some actual advice from three "experts" that appeared in Adweek last week about having a successful trip:
"Try to go to the "it" parties as often as a random bar—where there's a lot of interaction and cool stuff going on." 
OMG! Totally awesome! Going to the "it" parties and doing "cool stuff." But do you think I should, like, slow dance with Debbie? Do you think she likes me? I mean, like like?
" you collect hundreds of business cards, develop a system so you know which ones you want to follow up with. Either by designating a specific pocket to place follow-up cards, or slightly folding a corner, or marking with a pen..."
Dude, what if you just take your precious fucking business cards and fold 'em five ways and stick 'em where the sun don't shine? How does that system sound?

And, of course, my all-time favorite digi-babbler had the winning entry...
"It's not just about creating buzz around an activation, but it's thinking about the event as a platform to begin to shape the industry and do something future-leaning."
Yeah, I'll get right on that.

But seriously, do these people really live on our planet? What kind of lives do they have that this shit is important to them? This is just the tech-world's brand of Kardashian stupidity.


Guest said...

not only "ads that never ran"... you should hear the lectures in Cannes.
world's best laxative by far.

seba said...

Talking about bullshit zombie talk... this was posted today at fast company. It's for a new brand of vodka+beer called Oculto. Enjoy it bob!!!

The marketing strategy for Oculto will be primarily social and experiential, to meet millennial drinkers where they are—in the clubs and on Instagram. Socquet says it will involve sending "seductive individuals" wearing masks into bars and nightclubs to whisper secret messages into your ear. "If you’re up for it, you’ll have an interesting experience," Socquet says, cryptically. "Some people will be up for it, some won’t, but we can guarantee it will be an Instagrammable or Facebook-worthy moment that people will be proud to put on their social feed."

And that's the main marketing goal. "If it doesn’t appear in the social feeds of our consumers, it’s like a tree falling in the forest that no one is around to see," says Socquet. "If millennials don’t post something on Instagram, it probably didn’t happen. They want to curate their feeds to make themselves look more interesting, sexier and fun to their friends. So rather than us push the message towards them, we want them to become the brand ambassadors on our behalf."

Charlotte said...

I go to Austin for one thing: music, drinking and barbecue.

john p woods said...

It's a trend. It won't last long. Like Hummus.

Shanghai61 said...

So underneath all the bluster, their strategy is 'give away free samples in bars and clubs and then pray for free media on social channels'.

Wonder what reach & frequency they'll get with that?

Shanghai61 said...

Every time I've tried to 'do something future-leaning', I've fallen flat on my face.

These days I'm happy just to let the future come to me.

I find it arrives soon enough.

Ray said...

That's three things.