The songwriter Randy Newman once composed a song called "Naked Man." The song was inspired by a true criminal case.
A woman was walking down a street in New Orleans. Suddenly, a completely naked man came charging at her, grabbed her purse, and ran away with it. A few minutes later, and a few blocks away, the police nabbed the naked man with the purse.
At his trial, he put up an astonishingly creative defense. He claimed it was a case of mistaken identity.
How then did he happen to be running down a street naked with the woman's stolen purse in his hands?
Well, you see, he was going down the street naked when out of nowhere another naked man came dashing around the corner, handed him the purse, and ran off.
I was reminded of this while reading a recent crime story.
In Bradenton, Florida last week, Raymond Roberts was pulled over for speeding. The Manatee County Sheriff's Deputies who pulled him over noticed a strong scent of marijuana coming from his vehicle.
They searched Roberts and found two plastic bags in his anus. That's right, his anus.
One bag contained marijuana, the second contained crack cocaine.
Roberts claimed that the marijuana was his, but the crack wasn't. It belonged to a "friend." How did his friend's crack happen to wind up in his crack?
Well, you see, his friend had borrowed Roberts' car and absent-mindedly left the plastic bag full of crack cocaine on the driver's seat. When Roberts saw the police, he got all nervous and grabbed the crack, stuck it down his pants and up his ass where, coincidentally, he happened to be storing his marijuana.