Imbecile Of The Decade

We have double torture this year. Not only are we ending a year, we're also ending a decade (pettifogging killjoys will take great pains to instruct us that the decade doesn't technically end until next year. I don't care. I'm celebrating this year. Next year we could all be dead. In fact, at the rate we're going, we probably will be.)

The torturing part is the dumb lists. It's bad enough when we have to endure The 10 Best Everything of the Year, but this year we have also to endure the The 10 Best Everything of the Decade.

For some reason that I can't fathom the advertising and marketing industries seem to be particularly fond of these idiotic lists. I guess it has something to do with click bait. The trade rag publishers have probably discovered that everyone wants to know who they have dubbed The Best Influencer Marketing Follower Fraud Celebrity of the Year or something.

Not being one to miss out on an opportunity to be stupid, I have a list of categories that I don't think have been covered. So here we go... The 10 Best Remaining Marketing Subjects for 10 Best Lists of the Decade.

• The 10 Most Frightening Retweets of the Year
• Best Use of Metaphor in an Email Subject Line of the Year
• 10 Most Incomprehensible Unsubscribe Pages of the Year
• Best Insincere Facebook Birthday Wish of the Year
• The 10 Most Fascinating Articles About CMOs of the Decade
• 10 Most Memorable Privacy Policy Updates of the Year
• 5 Most Poetic LinkedIn Articles about Blockchain of the Decade
• 10 Best Mutilations of the Name "Zuckerberg" of the Year
• 10 Most-Unemployable-People-Who-Started-a-Podcast-this-Decade of the Year
• 10 Best Years of the Decade

And, as always, the most heartfelt use of the term...Happy New Year!