If you’re new to the business world, you may soon find yourself in a marketing meeting and become very quickly disoriented. This is because marketing people speak a language that is disconcerting to the human ear and mystifying to the human mind.
To help you through this bewildering experience, here at The Ad Contrarian Global Headquarters we have created a glossary of terms that can help you understand what marketing people actually mean when they talk:
Engage - bother
Brand architect - account executive
Authentic - true sounding
Transparent - natural looking
Content - anything on the web
Branded content - anything on the web with a logo
Compelling content - content
Conversation - retweet
Follower - stranger who wants something for nothing
Advisor - LinkedIn term for unemployed
Community - strangers who once clicked
Meaningfulness - (no one knows)
Branding - anything with a logo on it
Activation - when marketing people actually do something
Workshop - meeting
Roundtable - meeting
Summit - meeting
Town hall meeting - meeting
Training session - powerpoint-induced napping opportunity
Webinar - digitally delivered powerpoint-induced napping opportunity
Traditional - stuff we don’t do well
Brand advocate - customer
Brand ambassador - customer
Storyteller - copywriter
Passionate - opportunistic
Evangelist - inflexible bore
Data-driven - unimaginative
Brand purpose - something our CEO’s spouse is into
Disruptive - something our CEO’s daughter is into
Target audience - people like us
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