2011 Top 10 Best Of Bullshit

It's the time of year when everybody is making Top 10 lists. Here at The Ad Contrarian, we want to be part of the fun too, darnit.

2011 may have been an astonishingly stinky year, but one thing you have to say -- it's been a fabulous year for bullshit.

Since bullshit is our beat, we thought we'd make a list of the varieties of bullshit that made 2011 such a delight. So here is the 2011 Top 10 Best of Bullshit.

We'll count 'em down from #10 to #1:

10. Mobile Phone Bullshit: It's the era of 4G and every phone company has the best blazing-fast 4G network in the universe. So, one question -- how come I still can't get my f/ing email?

9. Nutrition Bullshit: Usuga beans grown only in the Olduvai Gorge make your liver lovelier and your pancreas pancre-asskickin'. 

8. "Reaching Out" Bullshit: If I hear one more dimwit say they "reached out" to someone there will be blood in the streets.

7. Security Bullshit: Note to Congress: hundreds of otherwise unemployable people standing around airports scowling at us while they do nothing doesn't make us feel safer.

6. Parenting Bullshit: Please, 12 pictures a day of your precious spawn on Facebook is a dozen more than we need.

5. Movie Bullshit: An amazing year. Check the ads. Every movie released was "the best film of the year."

4. Exercise Bullshit: We are all thrilled that you ran a 500K potato sack race. Really, we are.

3. Foodie Bullshit: I don't care how many stars that precious new restaurant has, there's nothing they make that's better than a pizza.

2. Celebrity Bullshit: One giant, pathetic freak show. A few hundred years ago entertainers were called 'fools.' Today fools are called entertainers.

1. Wine Bullshit: Just shut the hell up and pour it.