Death Cab For Bobby

I was in New York City recently. As a former resident, and frequent visitor, I am a confirmed subway user. However, on this recent trip circumstances dictated that on a few occasions I had to take a cab.

Apparently there is now a 10 question test they give before they issue a taxi license.

Here is the test:

1. Have you ever taken a shower? 
2. Have you ever had an article of clothing laundered or dry cleaned?
3. Can you imagine any circumstance under which you might smile?
4. Have you ever stayed in one lane for more than 30 seconds?
5. Do you know how to operate a turn signal?
6. Have you ever answered a direct question with a direct answer?
7. Have you ever stepped gently on an accelerator or brake pedal?
8. Have you ever made a left turn from the left lane, or a right turn from the right lane?
9. Have you ever been helpful or well-mannered?
10. Are you aware that every cell phone has an "off" switch?

If you answer "yes" to any of these questions, you are disqualified.

By The Way...
...my father was a NYC cab driver so I don't want to hear from any weenies about how elitist/prejudiced/insensitive I am.