Going Through Life Rolling My Eyes

"The new consumer psychology on the rise around the world is one of networks and prioritization, of explicitly pricing in consequences and externalities, and of giving more than lip service to being resourceful and vigilant about downside risks. This is the global zeitgeist now aborning." 

Run for your lives! There's a global zeitgeist aborning!
 
This lovely gobbledy-gook comes to us from a "critical piece of research" conducted by The Future's Company and the 4A's called "A Darwinian Gale."

I can't imagine this nonsense is "critical" to anyone other than someone who really needs a nap. 

It uses about 20 pages of charts and graphs and marketing hoo-hah to tell us what everybody with a semi-functioning cerebral cortex already knows -- people are becoming more thoughtful with their money.

I tried to read it this weekend. Here's what I learned:

"We're entering an "era of consequences."

Apparently in the past our actions didn't have consequences.

"Spending is based on prioritization and trade-offs"

Also, in the past we just spent our money willy-nilly.

"Consumers are rethinking the definition of value to better fit in a world in which economic risk can no longer be indulged or ignored and embracing a more responsible approach to shopping and buying."

Oh, so economically strapped consumers don't want to piss their money away on crap? Who'd a thunk it?

"The future will see a proliferating mosaic of ever-more eclectic consumer strategies and solutions for building satisfying lifestyles."

And who among us doesn't enjoy a good proliferating mosaic?

In a recovery consumer marketplace... being average will be exceptional.

Which is just about the best example of a contradiction in terms I have ever encountered.

A commenter on this blog recently wrote that we marketing people "take the obvious and make it incomprehensible."

This piece of "research" is Exhibit A.

Just One More Thing...
...what in the world does "explicitly pricing in consequences and externalities" mean?

And Just Another More Thing...
..what the hell is a Darwinian Gale?