Million-Dollar Ideas -- Free Today Only!

As an ongoing service to our loyal readers, TAC has a few ideas that can make you lots of money. They won't make me a dime because I'm too damn lazy. Go ahead and use 'em. Just send me a check sometime.

• Supermarkets: Hey supermarket manager, you've got it all wrong. Why make things easy for your unprofitable customers and annoy the shit out of your profitable ones? Why have express lanes for people buying a bottle of Mountain Dew and a TV Guide? Why not express lanes for the people who actually make you some money? The ones with 25 items or MORE!
• Clothing: Clothing manufacturers and retailers, here's something you should know. By 2010 (that's 18 months from now) half the population of the US will be over 45. And you know what happens to people when they approach 50? They get fat. The average waist size for men in America is 33-36. For people over 50, it's larger. And yet, it is impossible to find a pair of men's pants with a 37 waist. Or 39. Nobody makes 'em. So a large number of men in this country are walking around in pants that don't fit. As if these guys weren't ugly enough. People over 50 control almost 80% of the wealth in this wonderful country of ours. You want them in your store? Is it too much trouble to provide them with a pair of pants that fits?
• Restaurants: Restaurant owners -- how much does it cost you to serve fresh bread? Right, zilch. And yet at least half the restaurants I go to serve bread that's been lying around all day getting stale or soggy. It's the first thing your customer tastes -- the first impression he/she gets of your food. Is it worth the $10 a day you're saving to serve crappy, half-stale bread? (Hint: No.)