July 31, 2008

The Bitter Blogger

You know those lists of favorite blogs that bloggers have on their home pages? They're called "blog rolls." Kind of like egg rolls, except even greasier.

I've done a little survey of marketing and advertising blogs. You know how many blog rolls The Ad Contrarian appears on? None. Zippo. Bupkis. Nada.

Can you imagine that not one of these creepy low-life bloggers would include your and my absolute favorite blog on their blog roll?

And do you know who these bloggers are? We're talking here about people who can't spell; who can't produce a simple declarative sentence; who wear bicycle shorts; who write about Search Engine Optimization; who use words like "engagement" and "monetize"; who have cell phone holsters; who attend "off-sites" and "branding summits"; who sit around hotel bars in leather pants; who drink vitamin water and do pilates; who don't have the balls to use their real names; whose only writing skill is to cut and paste other peoples' mind-numbing jargon; who wear their hats sideways; who scour YouTube looking for ideas to steal; who sip white wine; who I've fired -- twice; who sit at airports with those fucking Bluetooth things in their ears; who buy shoes on line; who don't know the difference between a fact and a fart; who think we give a shit about their moronic Twittering; who drive Subarus; who ask you what your fucking sign is; who hang around with people named Derek and Ian; who go "on holiday"; who eat nothing but seared ahi tuna; who only publish comments from gutless suck-ups; who stand in line all night to buy a fucking iPhone; who... who... whew...

These are the sniveling weasels who aren't listing The Ad Contrarian on their blog rolls.




Here's A Tip:
For all you above-mentioned bloggers -- don't use "Proust" in your post title. I did yesterday and readership went down 33%. All these fucking intellectuals on the internet... I guess I should have entitled it "Amateur MILF In Wild Inter-Racial 3-Way."

I am not bitter.

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