62% Of Content Viewed By Aliens

We all know that by utilizing big data and online metrics, digital advertising has become incredibly amazing.

Data specialists are capable of understanding everything about who we are and what we do, which is what makes online advertising so darn effective.

I mean, without all this tracking and technology, how could we possible achieve the astounding standard of 8 clicks per 10,000 ads served?

Imagine what display advertising would be like without all this brilliant technology. It might drop to, you know, 7 clicks per 10,000 or something. What a disaster!

Remarkably, one of the things we have learned from studying the data is that over 60% of viewers of online content are from other planets. That's right.

According to an article in The Washington Post, the Washington Redskins of the National Football League reported that there were almost 7.9 billion unique visitors to content about their training camp this summer.

Strangely, there are only 7.2 billion people on Earth.

And of the earthlings, only 40% have internet access.

This leaves only one possible explanation: The majority of these unique visitors must have come from someplace else. These visitors were really unique.

My calculations tell me that, if projectible, this means about 62% of "content" is being consumed by extraterrestrials.

If you ever have any doubt about the value of big data and online metrics, the fact that these awesome tools have once and for all proven the existence of alien beings should ease your mind.

10 Compelling Reasons To Target Millennials

Marketers who are not targeting Millennials are making a huge mistake and are leaving billions of dollars on the table.

• They are responsible for about 50% of all consumer spending.

• They have $2.4 trillion in annual income, which accounts for 42% of all after-tax income in the U.S.

• They buy about 60% of all new cars

• They have a net worth 3x that of other generations

• They outspend the average consumer in nearly every category, from food, household furnishing, entertainment, personal care, gifts, etc.

• They account for nearly $230 billion, or 55% of consumer packaged goods sales 

• They dominate 94% of CPG categories

• They outspend other adults online 2:1 on a per-capita basis 

• They control about 70% of the wealth in the US

• Nielsen calls them "the most valuable generation in the history of marketing" 

Oh, wait a second... that's not Millennials, that's people over 50.

Sorry.

Same Circus, New Monkeys.

Before you go firing your head of marketing and hiring a new one, let me save you some time and money.

Here's what your new cmo will say:

1. We need to get more digital
2. We need to get younger

It doesn't matter what the problem is, the answer will be...

1. We need to get more digital
2. We need to get younger

You have a crappy product?

1. We need to get more digital
2. We need to get younger

You have no discernible strategy?

1. We need to get more digital
2. We need to get younger

Your advertising is a stupid pile of shit?

1. We need to get more digital
2. We need to get younger

Your stores are filthy, your people are morons?

1. We need to get more digital
2. We need to get younger

If you're looking for a marketing job, repeat after me:

1. We need to get more digital
2. We need to get younger

It's the universal marketing strategy and will get you hired by any dumbass corporation in America.

You'll only last 18 months, but that's ok. There will always be another big dumb corporation that needs your keen insights.